Tin Man

Well Let see. I hate my job but that's nothing new! haha! I am spending way to much time online and driving. I just realized that i really never stop moving any more. I am here or there. I am not home for more then a few hours and those are normally spent sleeping. lol


SOOOOO You defiantly need to check out Tin man by Animal Kingdom! Its a great song. HAHA.

So My life has just been full of drama. You think it will stop when your not in school anymore, but I swear it only gets wores. Oh well I will just have to deal.



Tin Man
Animal Kingdom
Got no arms, got no legs,
got no shoulders but I got a head
I've got a head, that tells me stupid things to do
And I got heart, and I got heart,
although its slowing pulling me apart,
cause I never feel the same as you

So tell me if it's love, cause baby I'm a tinman
Tell me if it's love, I wanna be a real one

Well is this love? Is this pain?
I gotta a feeling that I cannot name
slowly changing every part of me
I know you think I'm just a toy,
But I wanna be a real boy
I only want to feel the same as you

So tell me if it's love, cause baby I'm a tinman
Tell me if it's love, I wanna be a real one
Tell me if it's love, cause baby I'm a tinman
Since you took my heart, I've got a missing part

I've got a missing part.....

I got no arms, got no legs,
got no shoulders but I got a head
I've got a head, that tells me stupid things to do
I cannot eat, I cannot sleep
I gotta hole inside of me
cause I never feel the same as you

So tell me if it's love, cause baby I'm a tinman
Tell me if it's love, I wanna be a real one
Tell me if it's love, cause baby I'm a tinman
Since you took my heart, I've got a missing part

I've got a missing part.....

9/28/09

Its been a long time since I last updated. A lot of things have changed. Waaaay to many to get into. I am still working at the Shack(BLAH). I really miss my one and only baby sister! She is having fun in Spain, also I miss Shane. He is in one of my favorite countries of all time. Lucky bastard! Well both of them are lucky! Loki is getting his claws removed and his blueberries cut off today :( Makes me sad. Ask I am typing this my dog Shadow is rubbing his butt all over the living room floor. What a dork! lol :) I have News!!!! I am going to Thiels Homecoming!!!! I am so very excited. YAY!!!



I really miss my baby sister. LIKE HARDCORE! I know she is having fun but I still miss her!
Well I am off to clean. BOOO. There isn't very much to do on a crappy rainy day like today! :(


I am going to post some new pics later in the day!


bye...

Waiting

I am waiting for a call to see if I got the job I interviewed for on last Thursday. I am hoping I am getting a call sometime today. I really need this job. Please pray for me.

I love this song.

"You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)"

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved





Please watch this video.

Poem 1

The pain is become unbearable. I am sinking. Will you grab my hand and pull me through the pain and torture? Will you stand beside me when I feel wrong, and ugly? Will you hold me when my world feels like its crumbling and I can't stand? My world is beautiful with you in it. So stay with me when my world turns ugly. I know if you do, then my world will bloom again and become beautiful, just like it once was. You are my world. Just remember that.

Tuesday

For Tuesday.

The interview.

Okay so its been a while since I have posted anything. Well I have an interview on Thursday. I am excited but scared. I really want this job. If I get this, things will finally be looking up. I really need that. So please pray for me. Jeff, said that is grandmother and pappy are praying for me. He wants me to get this job too. He know that will take stress off of me. It will. So If God is listening to me at this moment, "Please help me through this, help me be confident, and what they are looking for." Please.



Tell after the interview.
Steph

Worrying

I can't stop worrying. There are many reasons. One of them being finding a new job, one that pays well. Another and a big one, is Jeff. He is so sad about what happened the other day. He just text messaged me asking why this had to happen to him. Why does all the bad stuff always happen to him? He kept asking me that. I told him I don't really know, but I am here for you. He is just really upset and when he is upset I am upset. He feels as if he has lost the trust of his parents. I don't think he did. I really don't, it was an accident. He did not hurt anyone. He just damaged the car. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT HE WAS NOT HURT. He does not see it like that right now. All he is seeing is anger. I am just happy he is okay.

Tons of things have been happening. I just can't seem to put them into groups. I don't sleep at night, I am stressed out.

Well till next time.

Well what a change.

I am no longer in school. WHICH BY THE WAY KINDA SUCKS. I now have so much to take care of its not funny. I miss my friends at school. The good thing is that I see Jeff a lot now. It makes me feel better. I hope that my Thiel Friends understand that I do love them and that I am planning on coming up as soon as I can. Jenny my one friend moved into my old room. I don't know how to feel about it. I am kind of sad. Which is understandable because I am not there anymore, and it hurts. At Thiel I made more friends then I realized. And I miss them all very much. One day I will go back to school, but for now I am looking for a good job with 40 hours. I really need this. So say a little prayer for me.
Till next time.

Christmas cookie baking.

What a HOOT that was, well we (my sister, Mom, and I) are making Christmas cookies. Well today my sister and I started to make pumpkin roll, that WAS TO FUNNY. Shane, my sisters boyfriend came over to help, and not to long after that My boyfriend surprised me by showing up too. Which was great.

My sister and I started to make pumpkin roll, and when we took the first roll out, I was like this is going to suck. I Started to sing the I HATE PUMPKIN ROLL song. I just made it up on the spot and had my sister howling by the time I was done singing it. After awhile things just got funnier and funnier. I ended up hitting my sister with the side of a hot jelly roll pan ( it did not really hurt her) and I ended up on the floor laughing so hard I peed my pants. Shane thought that I was joking. I SO WAS NOT. Jeff was just laughing at me. He said that I am never going to live that down. Well that is okay. Because I had him laughing really hard and that just makes me smile =).

We then made Snails, Which are an Anise Oil Cookie. (Not a butt cookie as Jeff calls it.) These cookies not going to lie kind of look like little piles of dog poop. They are in the shape of a snail thing. You would just have to see it to understand. LOL Jeff was again having a blast with making the snails. He left before we finish, I wished he would have stayed because We would have had even more fun. lol.

Tomorrow my sister and I are making sugar cookies and going to decorate them.
Then Friday we are making spritz cookies. Then we are done, with making Christmas cookies.

Well till next time keep laughing!

Life why is it so hard?

So lets see I am done with finals I did pretty well. I am happy about my grades. Thought thats not what this post is about. I don't really know either. I am just worried about Jeff. He is just finishing up his finals this week, thank goodness. Jeff is swear is just one big stress ball I am stating to get really worried. He is dealing with things that are just really bothering him. After this week is done, maybe we will be able to do something nice after Christmas. Just so that he and I can have sometime to talk. I guess the thing that is really bothering me is the fact that he feels he can't tell me everything that is bothering him. Which, I can understand. He said that he feels bad, because what he wants to tell me, will make me sad and he doesn't want to see me sad. WHICH again I understand because I don't like making him upset either. The thing is though, I want him to tell me. I can be strong for the both of us. He is worring to much about how it is going to bother me, and not about how it is bothering him. This weekend I have to work sunday, and have a family thing saturday, he is going to his friends house friday. I really want to see him before Christmas, so I am hoping to see him sunday after work. I only work 5 hours Sunday so I am pretty happy about that. I just want him to be okay. I see what he is like when its really getting to him he Shuts down on me. I am just worried. Hopefully after this week everything will be less stressful for him.

Well on to the second post in one night. LOL

50 Things to do in a Final that You know your going to fail!!!!!

50 Things to do During Finals

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say ``oh geez, better get cracking'' and do some gibberish work.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming ``Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!''

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the surface integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, ``I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking.'' Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, ``I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?''

8. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say ``They've found me, I have to leave the country'' and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out ``Merry Christmas.'' If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat the process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up. For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB, BABE, etc.)

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out ``Fuck this!'' and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (e.g. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to get drunk.)

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means that at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy.)

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him in a very derogatory tone, ``The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!''

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling ``I'm here, the phantom of the opera'' until they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for you right to take the exam.

31. Bring a water pistol with you. 'Nuff said.

32. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise your're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment ``Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.''

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

43. Do the exam on your laptop. Make sure the simulated keyboard noises are on.

44. Play frisbee with a friend on the other side of the room.

45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Start with your calculator, move on to your desk, your chair, anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say ``it helps me think.'' Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase ``Told you so.''

50. Answer the exam with the ``Top Ten Reasons Why Professor _______ Sucks.''

HAHAHA- Might just have to do that! LOGIC...(class that I am taking.) I am might have to do this during that final. Sounds like a plan!

FINALS-Frick I Never Actually Learned S*%t.

Finals start Next week. Wednesday, is when my first exams start. I have two exams Wednesday, on from 6pm to 8 pm then the next one at 8 pm to 10pm, Screw that. HAHAHA. I swear I will explode when I get home. The stress that I have is through the roof. But ohhhhhhh well. LOL. So its just a few days till Christmas and I haven't done any shopping yet. I am waiting for a little bit more money. HOPE I get some from my grandmother. I don't know what to get Jeff yet, but I will figure it out.....

On to the life at Thiel. WoOoOoO. Its just a blast. Here are some pics from the begaining of the year. I had the car for a week and took some of my friends to Pymatuing, we went to the beach there, it was a stress releaver. It was so much fun. Got to love that.

This is Me, Katie, and Heather Laughing at my Joke about the great White Hunters, that were sitting in the water waiting for ducks! HA



This is Katie, Jenny, Me, and Heather. Funny Faces!


Well off to study!

35 more days!

Well, I thought I would be here this weekend, at school. Though it seems like i will be coming home Thursday. YAY. I have to watch the dog, because my Mom has an interview in Maryland. I will have to go get my sister, Friday, so that her and her roommate, can get ready to go to Chicago, I think I will also have to take them to the airport. So this should be interesting. lol. But we will see. Hopefully I can go home.

Here is a countdown to keep track!

Get Myspace Christmas Countdown


Happy Christmas!

38 days till christmas.

Well the rush is starting to begin. So is the flu season. Jeff is getting sick, and so is my Dad. Its always around the holidays that I get sick. I can't really afford that at this time because I have finals in a few weeks. also I have this huge paper and speech I have to work on. Its for my conservation bio class. Also I just have a ton of stuff to get done. I really don't want to get sick now. I just can't. So I am trying to think if I what I am going to get everyone for Christmas. I have all of Jeff's family. There is Christy, Gus, Jeff, Britt, Cody, Cello, the twins, his grandparents. I just don't know what to get them all. The only one that I am worried about is Jeff, I don't know what to get him. He said that he wants a comic. I just don't no what to do. Cuz there is Christmas, then Our 2 year Anniversary, then his 20th birthday. I just don't know. I am worried. Cuz I don't have much money. Well I am off to go do something. I should do homework. The thing is I am home and don't want to do it.

44 days till Christmas!

Well as the title states its 44 days till Christmas and I am already pumped (*throws fist into the air*). I know its early but I can't help it. Its snowing here and it just makes me think Christmas. On to other things lol. Well its almost final time here at school so I am working hard to make sure that I do well on the exams, but its rough when all I want to do is have fun. Right after my finals, I am home bound for Christmas brake, which will be nice. I am hoping Santa brings me what I want this year for Christmas, but it seems unlikely. I really want a kitten, Xbox 360, Guitar Hero World Tour, and TSO Tickets. Yes I know all of that is expensive, but one can hope. Well that's all for this post off to study!

Wondering

Well, I am back at school and really busy. I have so much on my mind these days.
The first being my grades and where will I be next year. The second, Where will Jeff be next year. Actually I no where he will be. He will be at Penn State Main. I am truly worried about what will happen if i can't moved down there. To like another school around there. Because there is no way I will make it into the main campus. I know there is the Dubois campus. Which is close by but its not at the same time. Its an hour and 20 mins away. Its closer then Theil is if i was to stay here. Its 3 hours and 25 mins away.
Also the other thing that I am wondering about is all the weddings that are happening this year. They are all young the are 19 or 20 years old. I want to get married. I really do. I also want to wait. I just need to wait. See where I will be. I just need to know what is going to happen.
I just don't know what is going on in my life.
Other then, I love my boyfriend. He is my world. He Makes me so happy. He loves me so very much. I love him so very much too. He is truly my world.

XFILES....YAY

This is going to be sooooo good can't wait.

The First

Well this is my first post ever, on a blog. Go me. lol. Well I Started this because I truly need a outlet for my life, I don't really have any other way of doing that. My life well, is confusing. I don't know what I want to do when I am out of school. That and the fact that I can't go back to the college I was attending. I Don't no what to do. Other then that....
I am going to be 20 years old August 2nd. Yay. I am really excited. I have a younger sister. I have a great mom and dad. Even when they have their days. Doesn't everyone? I am Dating A GREAT guy, his name is Jeff. He means everything to me. He also has great family that I love to death! I have one pet, his name is Shadow he is a black lab...he is so cute. I am trying to get my rents to say yes to a kitten, because I just lost my cat Baggain's a few weeks ago.
Other then that my life is your normal 19 year old life.